penelopelost

i.  self, the rain got me today.  i knew there was a possibility it would, but when it fell i went out anyway, smiling.  i wonder if that is how soldiers sometimes go into battle.  they know death is inevitable, that they cannot stop it.  do they say "to hell with it," grin a who-gives-a-shit-grin, laugh like mad men, heads thrown back, shoulders heaving? is that better than the alternative? in the end, does it make a difference?  you know how dad likes to say "you can't always control what's happening around you, but you can choose how you deal with it"?  i'd like to thin